res·o·lu·tion /rezəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n/
noun
- a firm decision to do or not to do something
- the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter
A New Year’s resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior.
Helpful Guidelines to Achieve Success ~
- Set reasonable goals. Start with very, very small steps. Setting small goals can make success easier to achieve and limit the chances of giving up.
- Build up, don’t burn out. The initial zeal of setting a new goal can at first be exhilarating, then exhausting, then result in a dull fade over time. Be motivated but you’ve got to have continuity. Take it slow and gradually increase the commitment over time.
- Be willing to embrace a new lifestyle. People who achieve their new year’s goals do not commit to change in isolation but rather embrace a lifestyle change. It really has to be a holistic approach to all your life. Mindfulness, being aware of consequences of actions, is a key piece to sticking to any goal. Be mindful of your day-to-day actions as well as everything that has meaning in your life.
I took on the resolution of a lifetime in 2009 – the vow to reclaim myself from a life-destroying addiction to crack-cocaine. A monumental task, to say the least, but my approach was not that different from how others might take on more popular, more mainstream, resolutions.
- Be willing to embrace a new lifestyle . . . It made sense to me that the first requirements for lasting change are insight and ownership. Insight into what took place. And ownership of my starring role in the destruction of my life. After all, one can’t change what one doesn’t acknowledge.
Therapy with Cole was challenging, terrifying and exhilarating, sometimes all at once. I eagerly looked forward to our weekly sessions, regardless of what issues we tackled. I immersed myself into those sessions with every ounce of feeling and concentration I could muster. We examined painful events of the past in detail and shared ideas for changes I would now need to make. Thanks to Cole, I began to learn how to pay attention to my feelings when I talked about my experiences. We unearthed months, years, and decades of my most painful memories forcing me to address issues I had buried deeply.
I came to view my therapy as a river flowing between two banks: on one side was my past, against which I viewed my life as self-inflicted punishment and misery, a derelict boat washed up against the bank; the other side represented the present – lush, unspoiled but unknown. The river’s flow was a fast-changing current of debris which Cole helped me identify, deconstruct, and process. That metaphor was often in my mind when I sat down with Cole. I was swimming in a river heading to an unknown destination, “my future.” Cole was my lifejacket. She kept me afloat through fast water and made sure I learned how to keep my head above water on my own.
Cole encouraged me to seek my own path. I devoted the hours and days between appointments to finding one. Every day brought some new element of knowledge and understanding. For a short time, I regularly attended a weekly Twelve-Step meeting at a church a few blocks from the condo. The meetings offered insights into ideas Cole and I had discussed, but in the end, I concluded that sitting in a group discussing addiction and recovery wasn’t a good fit for me. Still, I wouldn’t have known that unless I had given it a try. I did, however, walk away sufficiently curious to investigate the principles and virtues represented in the Steps more deeply on my own, and I began to implement some of them into my new life.
I explored everything from Buddhism to Christianity, the philosophies of Joseph Campbell to Jack Kornfield, the practices of Beverly Engel, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, and Eckhart Tolle. I embraced the wisdom that Maya Angelou and Oprah so generously shared with the world. That was how I approached recovery – I tried many, many things with an open mind and an open heart. This became my path to recovery, trial and error until I could cobble together a set of components that worked for me. My recovery, step-by-small-step, evolved into a journey of self-discovery.
~ Excerpt from Cracked . . . Not Broken